I don’t want to be your world

To hear the audio file of this blog:

No really. I don’t. No one person should be any other person’s world. That is just too much pressure….and it’s selfish. Sorry. But it had to be said.

I am someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s wife and someone’s friend. I can’t be everyone’s world. How dare you? It’s time to grow up and be your own world.

I have  friends who say their sons or daughters are their best friend and their world. What?! Your child is your best friend?? That is so unfair and wrong. Speaking as a daughter of a single parent, on behalf of your daughter or son, “no!”

“I don’t want to be your best friend. You are the adult who is raising me.

You should be my mentor and my guide through life.

This so-called friendship will be so unbalanced. You will have all of the power. Best friends should be equals, companions, and able to share everything. You, parent  of mine, are not sharing every intimate detail of your life with me and we are not making family decisions together. And if you are, it is inappropriate. I’m a child. I don’t have a life of knowledge to guide you through anything. I can’t share your triumphs and failures adequately with you. And I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to leave, grow up and have friends my own age. You making me your “best friend” is stifling at times. Why? Because I know that my life is not for me but for you. I am here to serve you. Whether that was your intention or not. So stop it.”

And to that sibling who comes and goes, using me as the savior for the wrongs that you make, stop it. You too need to grow up, own your own mistakes and pay the consequences. I cannot be your world only when it is convenient for you.

And to that spouse who must do everything with his or her partner yet nothing on his/ her own. How dare you? We are partners. I don’t want to be your world. Why? Because I’m not your mother or brother or best friend. I don’t want to take care of you 100% of the time or clean up after the mess you made because you can’t aim properly. You are an adult. Take care of yourself. And don’t behave like an older sibling with the obnoxious jokes or endless tickling sessions when I demand that you stop. You are supposed to be my safe place. Not a source of frustration.

I don’t want to be your world. It is great that I can be a source of happiness for you, but I should not be the all and only. Don’t put that on me. It only makes me want to run away.

I am your child, not your best friend. Let me have my own life.

I am your sibling, not your parent. Own your mistakes and take control of your own life. Let’s just be siblings, loyal friends.

I am your spouse, your partner and equal. I am not your mother or brother or your world. Please, do not put that burden on me.

We all have different sides to ourselves. We all make connections with different people for several different reasons. Not one person, not one connection in life, should be or can be the end all be all for us. I don’t want to be your world. Just as I don’t want you to be mine. I need to be the source of everything positive in my life. I, and I alone, should be my world with you being the support and love I need from time to time.



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