Melancholy: When the world invades

You wake up, fully rested, yet something is off. Your stomach is tied in a knot and you kind of feel like you want to cry. But why? Nothing bad has happened. Everything was fine and happy right before you went to bed. So how can you wake up feeling like something is off? How can you wake up feeling sad and alone? What did your brain work on while you were sleeping?

Well, this is exactly how I woke up this morning. I have this feeling of unrest tied together with nerves and worry and sadness, and I don’t know why. I’m shocked by this because I had a great weekend meeting with dear friends but nothing too crazy that would have taken so much energy away from me. Maybe it was meeting with the friends. Is it possible to let too much of the outside world into your life? I’m starting to think it is. I think that is what happened and my spirit doesn’t know what to do next. It’s like those people who are so sheltered that even stepping foot out in a quiet hallway is too much for them.

Right. So what that I’m not traveling the world like some of my friends and I’m not saving the world like another set of friends and I’m not uber successful like yet another set of friends? I just have to remind myself that life is more than traveling the world and more than saving the world and more than being uber successful, making tons of money. My life, my world, is focused on my family. And just as I cannot get swept away by other people’s dramas, I can’t get swept away by other people’s triumphs. No one can. No one should be.

So what did I do? Well, I stayed away from people at the office for the day and I snuck in an afternoon class at Orangetheory Fitness. Thankfully, the workout did help. Once I got home I was happy to just spend time with my grandmother. I listened to her hum while she colored and I had a good cry. I guess it is really true – sometimes ,you just need a good cry.

What do you do when the outside world invades?


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